What would I accomplish if I did not succumb to my excuses? Or: What kind of person would you be if you did not succumb to your excuses?
The Lord works in mysterious ways, and the universe unfolds in an equally mysterious manner. In a 30-second clip, comedian Vince Vaughn may have changed my world and perhaps changed America forever for those who consider and answer the question. In an interview, he said, “This is what I tell my son: Son, what kind of man would you be if you did not succumb to your excuses?” This resonated with me on a new level. I became introspective. Who would I be without succumbing to my own excuses?
By first cut, I figured I should define my favorite excuses. Obviously, my excuses may not be your excuses. We all have unique sets of them. Here are mine:
1. I did not get enough sleep.
2. I’m tired.
3. It’s close enough.
4. I don’t feel like it.
5. I don’t know anyone.
6. It’s cold and I do not want to get wet.
Here are the respective responses to those excuses:
1. It does not matter. Do it anyway. Sleep more later. Who are you committed to becoming?
2. It does not matter how you feel. Do it anyway. Do it because you said you would.
3. You either hit the target or you do not. Black or white. Truth or lie.
4. It does not matter how you feel. What matters is what you’re committed to.
5. Good. It’s time to make friends.
6. This one’s obviously in response to the cold plunge. How is being a wimp good for you? Super coach would do it.
I assure you, listing my excuses was a beneficial exercise as it revealed the degree to which excuses were getting in the way of me becoming the person I want to become. Articulating your own favorite excuses will in all likelihood provide the same benefit to you. So I challenge you to get clear on your own excuses. Tell the truth to yourself. Once you do, you can take on the daily “no excuse” practice, so you can confront your excuses and conquer them.
As an example, one of our clients uses the “too mentally drained” excuse toward the end of the day. The response to that is to instead do something that requires physical rather than mental exertion or to hit the sauna or cold plunge to reverse that perceived mental fatigue. That said, it’s important to be truthful. Maybe you are, in fact, mentally or physically tired. With that knowledge, you can design your schedule around your known circadian rhythms and take advantage of them.
“I don’t feel like it” is a really popular excuse. Maybe you have great plans to eat healthy and clean and even make a trip to the grocery store for ingredients that support your plan. Then when it’s meal prep time, “I don’t feel like it” rears up. When that happens, ask yourself, “Which ‘I’ is speaking?” The ‘I’ that doesn’t feel like it is not the conqueror nor the one who accepts the duty and mans the post, no matter what. The ‘I’ making the excuse is the whiny 5-year-old. Is that who you really want to be?
Whatever your excuse may be, determine which ‘I’ is making the excuse. Keep in mind that your environment also has an impact. Who you are being at any moment also reflects where you are (e.g., the room you’re standing in) and the people you’re with. Ask: “Which ‘I’ is here and which ‘I’ do I want to be here?”
If you’re reading this, I know you do not want to be mediocre or like everyone else. Be mindful of the ‘I’ that strives to keep you safe and not take chances. That’s the ‘I’ that will always embraces the excuse. It’s evolutionary and hard-wired. Consider the caveman living in a calorically scarce environment. Burning unnecessary calories could literally be life-threatening. Burning calories on useless action was counterproductive. Who is your excuse protecting?
Once again: Who could you become if you did not succumb to your excuses? The word succumb is chosen for a reason. Substitute surrender if you’d like. Do you want to surrender? I know you don’t. Are you committed to the outcome or more committed to how you feel? If it’s the latter, you are succumbing to excuses. Commit to the outcome instead.
“I’ll do it later” is another popular excuse. Now, if you’re procrastinating on something that’s not on your calendar, scut work for example (e.g., returning calls and emails), keep in mind that getting it done does not necessarily improve you. However, it does give you the opportunity to beat yourself up if you fail to do it. Scut work represents “C” activities, and those should be delegated to time, people, or technology. Or, if it must be done by you, design a schedule and structure for it. The hardest part of everything is to start. It takes the most energy to go from zero to one. Once you get moving, momentum takes over and way leads onto way. As financial advisors, we are not in the business of life-and-death, like an ER doctor. Rarely, if ever, does anything bad happen if we do not respond immediately. Instead, respond according to your design.
“I don’t know what my schedule is.” This excuse arises out of a desire for freedom. Since I don’t know my schedule, I’ll do nothing. However, I will always contend that schedule (a.k.a. structure) sets you free. You end up being a prisoner to the fact that time never stops.
No matter what your excuses may be, once you bring mindfulness to them, you can better determine that they do not serve you. If you succumb to the excuse, it is because you choose to do so. You always have a choice. What kind of person do you choose to be? When you transcend the excuse, you remove limitations. Imagine the person you’d be if you do not succumb to your excuses and live into being that person.
Stay the path,
Coach Ken
