One of the best ways to determine your alignment is to create a priority tree. One of the biggest things that gets in the way for people, whether in business or in living by their own design, is friction.
Friction creates fire, and unless controlled and purposefully created, fire is bad; no one ever plans a fire. But once an unintended fire starts, it has to be extinguished immediately or it gets exponentially worse. Keeping this in mind, when you’re out of alignment, you cause friction. When you’re in alignment, you will always go further faster and with less fuel.
Your priority tree starts with you at the top. You must be in alignment with you. Then there’s your spouse/kids/family, then staff, and then clients. Corporate stuff comes after that. So what does it mean to be in alignment with each of those things? And what could be some potential checkpoints for that alignment? I think there could be three elements to review: mind, body, and spirit.
Start with yourself. Most of us are fighting a war within. Is there friction within yourself? Is that typical “war within” getting out of hand? What does the war even look like or how do you define it? What structure do you have in place to monitor self-alignment? Personally, I think it’s a matter of asking if you’re being crazy and assessing the emotions are you feeling. Are you depressed, stressed, up, down, or sideways? In your self-evaluation for alignment, ask if you are motivated and excited about your business. No, you don’t have to feel excited every day nor will you, but think about the future you’re living into. Is it compelling? Examine the why behind your actions.
We talk about design a lot – especially designing the life you want to live. When you have clarity about your design, it becomes easy to check your self-alignment. When you have a design and a structure and plan to manifest it, you can easily see when you’re on track or off track and make the needed adjustments for the latter. Are you clear about where you’re going?
In terms of body, mind, and spirit, it’s always a good starting point to determine which one might be bugging you right now. Maybe you feel really good about health and your physical environment. Great. Now do some self-examination about your mind and your spirit. Have structure for this self-examination and make it part of your day or week. As always, structure sets you free.
Next on the priority tree is your spouse (or significant other or life partner, however you define it). The best way to determine alignment centers on consistent communication. Do you have time set aside for this? Maybe it’s a date night, morning walk, lunch, or some other time for just the two of you. Consistent communication prevents a lot of future fires. When fire happens, it has to be addressed or it gets worse. As with your own life and business design, what is the design of your compelling future together?
Here’s something to keep in mind about spousal communication: When you think you have enough of it, you probably don’t. You really can’t overdo the check-ins when it comes to communication to ensure you’re in alignment. Uncommunicated expectations invariably lead to disappointment. Beyond disappointment, there’s also frustration and anger… friction! Determine the structure you need to check in with your spouse. It could simply be daily asking: “How are you doing today? How are we doing today? Do we need to talk about anything?”
When kids are in the picture, it’s so easy for spousal communication to always be kid-focused. Yes, you must have conversations about child-related issues, but be very aware of the need to address you as a couple, not a family. If the two of you are out of alignment, it will trickle down to the kids as well.
So, speaking of kids, they’re next on the priority tree. How do you determine your alignment with them? Ensure you have structured time to spend together and understand what it is that lights them up. What do they envision for themselves and how can you enhance it or help them achieve it? For me, my daughter is very much into dance. I was never much of a dancer, but I’m learning all the wonderful things about dance and going to recitals – being very supportive beyond simply paying for it.
That connection should continue as they get older. Maybe having regular coffee together or hitting a bucket of golf balls at the driving range if that’s a common enjoyment. As their interests change and evolve, be certain you’re creating structure to stay in that alignment. Alignment = further, faster, less fuel. Misalignment = friction.
Next on your priority tree is staff, teammates, colleagues. As with your spouse, communication enhances alignment. That may mean regular meetings with a structured agenda. And parallel to your kids, know their vision for their own compelling futures. When you understand that, you can help bring it into existence. That’s really foundational to good leadership – helping others meet their goals. Your understanding of that increases their loyalty and engagement in the business. Ensure they understand the numbers and what’s important about your service model. In fact, they should have a hand in creating that service model, but they have to really understand the why behind it first.
Staff investment is another big part of maintaining alignment. We had a client take his entire staff on a cruise. Certainly not cheap, but the bonding experience that developed because of it created exponential return on the investment. Maybe it’s not a cruise, but think about what you can do for your staff to create engagement and bonding.
As you’ve noticed, we are only now getting to clients as we move down the priority tree. Too many advisors place clients at the top of the tree – in front of themselves, their spouses, children, and staff, and I’ll ascertain that doing that creates a lot of friction that always flows right down that tree.
To determine alignment with clients, it’s simple. Answer this: Are you delivering on your promise? Are you working your client service model and doing what you said you would do? That’s the first distinction. If you don’t have a service model or aren’t regularly checking in with clients, you’re making it up as you go and embracing randomness. There’s nothing specifically wrong with randomness, but you’ll never know if you’re delivering on the promise and will likely create fires you’ll have to extinguish and react to. The more reactive you are, the more reactive you’ll continue to be. The more structured you are (think consistent client service model), the greater the control you’ll have in being proactive and having the outcomes you want.
The last rung or branch on your priority tree is the corporate stuff. Mothership stuff should always be at the bottom. If you’re independent, this is not something you face. If you work at a wire house or brokerage, you know that sometimes the mothership wants to be involved a lot. While there’s nothing wrong with that, make sure you’re clear where they are (and should be) on your priority tree. Keep in mind that the mothership is about protecting themselves. When you keep clients above corporate, everybody wins. Strong client business is good for everyone.
Create your priority tree according to this plan if you haven’t done so already. I assure you, if you have misalignment in the first two levels (yourself and spouse), you are going to struggle with everything else and will probably never achieve optimal performance in your business. Your number one client is your spouse and then your family. When you take care of those, everything will align. Be true to yourself and you’ll attract the right people on the lower branches of your tree.
