Let’s take a quick review of the labels “A, B, C, D” for activities and how we classify them:
· A: Activity that enriches and rewards you
· B: Emergencies
· C: Activity that should be delegated to people or technology (neutral value or lower than our pay grade)
· D: Activity that is deleterious and should be deleted
With that reminder, now I want to do a deeper dive into A, B, C, D people. This includes clients, staff, friends, neighbors, etc. We’ve been conditioned that it’s wrong to label people. I’m not only going to suggest that it’s okay to do so, I’m going to tell you to, in fact, do it. Here’s why: A label enables you to make a faster decision and faster choice.
The only way we can label anyone is through discernment, and that, of course, requires us to think. So here’s the ranking list again as it applies to people:
· A person: Enriches and rewards you.
· B person: In the sense of an emergency, it’s someone you have to deal with. B people tend to be very rare and don’t say in our lives for very long.
Now, the really interesting distinction occurs with the C and D folks:
· C person: Does not provide value, although they don’t necessarily take value away. They have a tendency to hold time and space. The C category may include old neighbors, high school classmates, someone we have lunch with regularly because we’ve done so for several years, etc. There’s nothing wrong with these people, but we have to ask: “Do they provide value?” If not, the next question is: “Why do I continue to interact with them?” The answer may be habit or our failure to think.
· D person: The one who sucks the energy and life… and maybe money… out of you. By the power vested in me as SuperCoach, I affirm that we do not have to deal with these people. When we’re in the presence of a D person, we’re not going to be rude, but we do not have to listen to what they have to say. Allow them to simply be “there” and give them no merit. I’ll make them analogous to a tree. You would never take a second to consider what a tree thought about you or how you might coach, counsel, or advise it. If you tried to talk to a tree and explain how it could make its business better, you’d be labeled as insane. Handle the D person the same way.
Once again, it’s always your choice about the people you function with and deal with. When you don’t take the time to apply the A, B, C, D labels, you can easily end up investing an inordinate amount of time, attention, and treasure in the C and D relationships. Remember there’s always an opportunity cost. If you’re investing in the Cs and Ds, you are failing to invest in the A people. You only have a limited amount of time and attention. Invest it wisely!
That said, through time, an A person can become a C person or even a D person. Very rarely (and almost to the degree of impossibility) have I ever seen a D person develop into an A person. The same can be true of C people – an unlikelihood to become an A in your world. This evolution (A to C or D) is okay. Someone who provided value and enriched your life five years ago may not be doing the same thing today. The only way to know this is to use discernment – to take time and reflect. This is really the importance of applying labels. If you label people without taking the time to occasionally re-assess, you’re doing yourself a disservice. You should also be continually determining who could be an A person for you – one of your champions. It can and does change.
Again, with D people, I am never advocating to show rudeness or direct negativity at them. There are certainly times and places in your life where they exist and you can’t escape them. Offer a polite hello and move on; don’t give them your time nor attention. Make the conscious effort not to engage with them. For some clients, that is much easier said than done. For those with an “unlikeable” operating system* – or your primary insecurity, which is one in which they seek approval and to be liked, it is very difficult for them to understand, let alone actually do. These folks, especially those in leadership positions, have a tendency to try to elevate everyone around them at all times.
If your nodding as you read that and fall into the category of having an “unlikeable” operating system, you must stop and ask: “Is this person really worthy of your attention?” A big problem with D people is that they’re always sucking in without return, and in dealing with them, we begin to doubt our own efficacy and even our own vision. A huge word of caution: If you spend too much time with C and D people, their attitudes can begin to seep into your own unconscious mind and cause doubt.
Conversely, when you surround yourself with A people, your potential is called forth to a new level because they believe in you. So, where is the one percent? Where is the game-changer – or potential game-changer – for you? And the bigger question is: Is it getting attention?
For each one of us, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and the noise, and it’s probably even easier to repeat yesterday today. Take a moment to think about what you did yesterday. Were you playing with a game-changer? If so, awesome. In many cases, there’s probability that you weren’t.
When you are completely clear about your own design, the A, B, C, and D people practically sort themselves. The A and the D people become wildly evident. If you feel you are struggling with ranking, revisit your design and be sure you understand, without a doubt, your why.
*To learn more about human operating systems, check out Lauren’s book: The Hijacker: Overcome Self-Sabotaging Behavior. scroll to the bottom
Be wonderful,
SuperCoach – https://gettingresultsinc.com/resources/podcasts/
