Even the most talented athlete with a ton of God-given ability cannot perform when there are obstacles in the way. You can think of any mess as an obstacle. And that brings up the question for you as well, whether you’re a financial planner or a coach: Is your own house in order?
Years ago, I had a client who insisted he did not have a mess anywhere. He was militant in his organization, right down to having a completely organized and almost spotless garage. Great. However, a mess does not simply have to be physical. It can be relational or mental. Stop and tell the truth about the things you’re tripping over or ignoring in your own existence.
The biggest mess always resides in the space between your ears. That’s where stillness comes in. Having coached for many years, it is still one of the hardest things I have to introduce to people because it is a difficult concept. However and as with anything, the more time and effort you dedicate to it, the more you’ll get out of it.
Consider the coffee cup. It plays two powerful roles. First, the thing that makes it functional is the space within it. Emptiness is what makes it useful. When it’s filled to the brim, how much more can you get into the cup? Not one drop more. To add anything more, you have to empty the cup. It is the act of emptying the cup or creating space that is beneficial. Imagine having 15 more desks in your office. There’s no benefit in that. It would cease being an office and become a warehouse instead. It would cease to function as you need it to. It’s the space in your office that makes it functional.
It’s always the space that makes anything functional. So let’s take that one step further. It’s the space within your mind that makes it functional and useful. If your mind is on overwhelm, you’ll begin to make errors, and suffering enters. Stress and intelligence are inversely related. The more stress you feel, the dumber you become.
Back to the cup and the second role it plays. Put it in your right hand and look at it. If it’s in your hand and you can observe it there, it cannot be you. Can you observe your elbow? Of course you can. If you can observe it, while it’s part of you, it is not you. Now, put your hand to your ear and twitch it. You can observe that, so your ear (like your elbow) cannot be you. Next, let’s go from your ear into your brain… to your thoughts and feelings. If you can observe the thought that pops up, is that thought you? No. You can observe your thoughts and feelings, so they cannot be you.
The driver behind any stillness exercise is to understand there is a difference between you and your thoughts and feelings. Very simply, whatever you can observe cannot be you. The best way to start any stillness exercise is with two minutes, maybe twice a day. Use a timer. Once two minutes seems easy (and I assure, it will not be easy at first), expand to three minutes. The goal is to make it to 20 minutes. That may take you six weeks, six months, or six years. The timeframe to reach the goal doesn’t matter. What matters is the practice.
The more you practice, the more you’ll begin to know someone who you may not currently know that well—you. Most of us are under the illusion that our thoughts and feelings are true and are us. Not true. There’s much more to you than you can imagine at this point before you begin your stillness practice. We want to create separation between you and your thoughts and feelings. The world is a world of hooks. Straighten those hooks and nothing can bind nor snag you.
As you cultivate presence through stillness, it allows you to give the greatest gift to others: your attention. When you’re present with someone, you give them attention. The basis for business is often likability and trust; however, if you cannot guide your attention, you cannot accelerate likability and trust. We’ve all had conversations with others who are not really there, not paying attention. Why would you waste your time and words on these people? The inverse is true: Why would a client waste their time (and money) on you if you are not present? Stillness helps you become present and cultivate attention.
Practicing stillness helps to eliminate messes. For most people, practicing stillness is the hardest thing to do. If you cannot control your mind for two minutes, how can you ever imagine that you can manifest the business and life you design? Who owns who? Do you own your mind or does it own you? Your mind will consume you if you don’t practice stillness. It’s time to start, whether it’s ten seconds or two minutes. Just start. Consider an app like Headspace or something similar to guide you. Separate from your thoughts and feelings and observe them. When you can observe them, they cannot be you.
When you can create space through separation, you can shift the direction of where you want to go. Stillness is the key to all things. It’s you studying you, so you’ll get more from your design.
Be wonder,
Coach Ken www.gettingresultsinc.com
the pods: https://open.spotify.com/show/4fYL67a6KtmadYdy9M9Nx3
