What do you feel gets in the way of your business? Perhaps it’s You. I know you have watched others make selling or running a business look effortless. Maybe you are one of those lucky ones. Have you ever asked yourself what it is about them that makes their business run so smoothly? Have you wondered how it seems as though people flock to them with help? I have had the luxury of talking to hundreds of these people through my years of coaching. Most of these folks did not start out this way, but they were able to develop a deeper level of awareness of themselves and the skills necessary to become a member of this golden club.
The big question is: how do you become one of those who seem to draw people in. How does one become a charismatic individual that so many love? Here are some keys to becoming one of the charismatic crew.
- Be Genuine. No one likes a person who occurs as phony or pretentious. We don’t care to spend time with or help anyone who pretends to be someone they are not – perfect. Yes, there are those lucky few that are near perfect, but none of us know anyone who is totally perfect. We get suspect of those who act as if they are. We gravitate toward people who are genuinely themselves.
2. Be Interest-ed, not Interest-ing. It’s not enough to just be genuine. There are plenty of people who are genuinely jerks or full of themselves. Let’s face it, our favorite subject to discuss is ourselves. We love to talk about our work, our children, our interests and our accomplishments. The problem is that you are not the favorite subject of the person you are talking to… Guess what, or who, their favorite subject is? So often, I will be in conversation (I use this term loosely) with someone who at the end thanks me for such an enjoyable time. I chuckle because in many of these ‘conversations’ I don’t say much. They do all of the talking, I just listen. Be interested in them and stop trying to be so interesting. In fact, the more interested in others you are, the more interesting you become.
3. Be Vulnerable. Ooh, the ‘V’ word. The old school way of doing business tells us to do the opposite. ‘Don’t show your vulnerabilities’, like we are at war or at battle and can’t give away any secret information. Times have changed and so it is time that we follow. Being vulnerable is one of the best things you can do for your business. In business we need a lot of help. We need new input or ideas from others. We need the right connections to the right people. We need referrals/introductions. Most people wait for it to ‘happen’. Think for a minute, where have your best ideas, best clients or best opportunities come from? It is likely from people you know. Sometimes it does happen accidentally, but why wait for it. Go out and find it. The best way to find it is to ask for it. Asking for help in any manner makes us feel vulnerable. It indicates that we are not superhuman (which by the way, you’re not) and somehow not being superhuman exposes us. We try to protect our egos by not making ourselves vulnerable. Single-handedly, this may kill your business. At the very least it will make it a lot harder. Surprisingly, we like those who are vulnerable. Why? Because we like people who are like ourselves. Since we are not superhuman, we like others who are not prodigious. In fact, studies have shown that individuals like those they help even more than before they were asked for help.
Here is an exercise for you: think of three things that you business really needs right now. Once you have those in mind think of three people that could help you with each one of those items. The final and more important step, go ask them to help you. You will be amazed at what happens!
